Thursday, December 31, 2009

Holiday-To-Do-List and Free Calendar

This is the last post of this year. I didn't blog much on December. But I did add a couple of things on the blog if anyone noticed, like my page dividers was constantly changing each week of December. I don't really know why. I just lost interest of it, so I switch to a different one~ I also have my photobucket gallery menu on the sidebar. The jQuery frame widget below the header works fine, just the link that doesn't work..

Anyways, before the holidays began I had a list of things I wanted to get done. Unfortunately, I didn't get to do it all..

1. Watch Chuck, the entire season 2 - Yeah, I spent a lot of my holiday doing this. I love Chuck!! Its such a fun show to watch~

2. Finish Najah's pink dress - This wasn't suppose to take so long, but me and najah did a hell lot of experimenting on how we wanted the dress to be. First it was a smocked bust, frills, pockets, such and such..but in the end, just buttons and a lot of shiny sequins. The dress is two posts below..

3. Be a girl and file my nails - I suck at filing my nails. First I did it at home using Najah's nail file. But it looks crap. So, Nisaa taught me how to do my nails properly..its such a long process, I only did two of my nails and then I gave up~

4. Take .... to Old Town to watch a friend work his ass off - Hehe.. Dude, I can't even get pass the front door without my mum knowing~

5. Make a personal 2010 calendar for myself - I've downloaded dozens of scrapbooking kits over the holidays. I mixed and matched it all up and created my own 2010 calendar.

6. 10 posts for December - Nope. I lack posts this month. I'm only short on target by one post~

7. Hug Mr. PinkBear - YES. I hugged it yesterday at Nisaa's. This teddy bear has 3 names by the way, Mr. PinkBear, Mr. Pinky and MR. PLAYBOY!!

That's the last of it. Though I feel like I've missed some out. Never mind.

Finally, with the help of many commercial use scrapbooking kits, I made this for all of you.

You can put your own pictures in the frames like I did. If you don't have photoshop on your computer you can always use an online editor like pixlr. Click on the image, it will take you to 4shared where you can download the calendar if you like =)
[The real image is not blurry btw, it only looks like that on the blog]
Credits to Kaje Salvador for the calendar stamps.

Wish you all an awesome night. Enjoy all those movie countdowns on T.V.!!


Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The 30th of December..

Not a birthday or an anniversary but a totally awesome day at Nisaa's house.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The finished dress!

Lately, I haven't been blogging because I was super busy trying to get some things on my holiday-to-do list done. One of them is of course, Najah's pink dress that I sewed as an early birthday gift for her.

So here it is~ The completed dress. Pink!! [I'm no good at taking pictures]

She asked for the ribbon just under the bust with three hand-sewn buttons on them [click for bigger view]. She also wanted a slit at the back, makes it easier to walk in. Then, the dress looked a little plain from waist down. So we decided to sew pink and white sequins at the bottom of the dress. Originally, she wanted frills at the bottom but we were short on fabric by a few inches, so I went with a pink ribbon for the hem.


Sunday, December 13, 2009

Missing tortoise, watch your step!

A great weekend in Kuantan but I can't seem to recall much. Quiet and peaceful since there was only my fam and cousins who live in Kuantan at Datuk's house when we got there. Weird though, coming to Datuk's house not seeing the boys playing their PS and making noise on the upstairs floor. Hehe..

Friday, December 11, 2009

Happy birthday, momma. I love you.

No, not today. Yesterday, 10th December = ummi's birthday!!

When I woke up yesterday morning, it was the first thing in my head and the first thing I told her.

Unfortunately, no special outings or whatever since abi is hard at work and ummi had a busy day ahaed of her, settling Najah's school applications for next year. So while she was out, me and najah decided to make her a birthday present. Its sort of kid-ish but it will be useful for her desk next year.

2010 desk calendar!! We pulled it off in just one day and I think it turned out okay. Its the thought that counts. =)

This song is a beautiful song by Taylor Swift. Y'all probably have heard it, its called 'The Best Day'. She wrote it for her mom.

Lyrics | Taylor Swift Lyrics | The Best Day Lyrics


Tuesday, December 08, 2009

I hate tuition.

I just do. I hate it. I don't really have a solid reason for that. But tonight was not enjoyable nor comfortable, even after tuition, things kept crashing and burning. If you don't like reading rants, don't bother reading this post.

Friday, December 04, 2009

Losing the Confidence.

I wouldn't classify this as a dream. It wasn't a screaming nightmare either..but I was definitely asleep......

Once upon last night's zzZZ...

I was at my grandma's in Alor Setar, it was as if it's still eidul adha and everyone was getting ready to go to kenduri. I was all ready, in my Syrian jubah, eyeliner was smoky, lipgloss was shining and ring, not forgetting my confidence ring.. I selected the ring among many rings on the dresser and just suddenly it fell to the floor and broke into two! Wait, rephrase, it fell to the CARPET and broke into two. Is that even possible??

No, it didn't break into two semi-circles. It was as if the ring had two layers, one inside the other, and the layers came apart turning it into two rings. [Do you understand that?]

Being superbly careful, I picked it off the floor[carpet], and attempt to insert one layer inside the other. The layers were extremely thin that every time I held the outer layer, the heart-shaped carving was slowly smoothing and disappearing. Like play-doh.

Inserting...inserting...and SNAP! Yes, I finally broke it into FOUR semi-circles. Oh, just brilliant~ AAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!! I BROKE MY CONFIDENCE RING!!!

"Bangun!! Bangun!! Raihan! Najihah! Tidur lagi!! Bangun!!", Ummi's voice was ringing in my ears.

I got out of bed and rummaged through my cupboard for the ring. I couldn't find it. Staying calm, I went to the shower where I would usually leave it. There it is. Next to my toothbursh. In one piece. I put it on and told myself never to drop it again. Especially on carpets.


Thursday, December 03, 2009

Jump Then Fall - Taylor Swift

Its not entirely new, but I'm loving it and repeating it every time I'm online and every time I turn on Flamingo (mp4).

The song is fifth on the jukebox..

Lyrics | Taylor Swift Lyrics | Jump Then Fall Lyrics

Btw, new picz in the older memories folder~ Found them in Ummi's room. A piece of, hilarious/cute/stupid, history..hehe..


Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Your Call

Night blogging and flash-backing..

I just bought some new earplugs at Reko's Hardnet store earlier to replace my old wrecked ones and I was so glad that I can finally start listening to music on my flamingo-ized [bedazzled] mp4 again. Since I haven't been listening to it for a while, I've almost forgotten what songs I have in them.. So..listening..listening..and then I came across this song. Its not a new song but it brings back memories..

I was searching for songs to download off the net for my mp4 a couple of months back, at the same time texting with a friend who I nicknamed Kitkat. Kitkat suggested many songs that I turned down until finally Kitkat told me to listen to "Your Call" by Secondhand Serenade.. I spared my ears to listen, just because Kitkat made me do so and I loved it. Of course, Kitkat was tryna get a message to me through the song. I was trying to deny that at the time. Unfortunately, a while after that, something tored us apart.

Ever since the incident, I still kept hoping that Kitkat would just text me again, maybe just to say "hi, how ya doin??" or "it's been a while".. or something..but, no..

Some time after that, another friend told me that Kitkat has been trying to text me but it didn't reach.. Then, I realized, oh yeah~ I never told Kitkat about my new number when I changed it. Haha. Never mind. Lets leave it that way.....

~Maybe you'll call me someday..
Hear the operator say the number's no good..
And that she had a world of chances for you,
She had a world of chances for you,
She had a world of chances,
Chances you were burning through
You've got a face for a smile you know~
~Demi Lovato~

Secondhand Serenade - Your Call

Lyrics | Secondhand Serenade Lyrics | Your Call Lyrics

Btw y'all, its just past twelve and its officially December~~


Friday, November 20, 2009

Act like a Lady, Think like a Man.

I love The Oprah Winfrey Show. I was watching this morning's episode (Hallmark shows Oprah 3 times a day on weekdays) and it sorta opened my eyes about something. Lots of things.

The topic revolved around this book, written by the King of Comedy~!

Everything the book is talking about is so true. It tells you about what goes through a male's mind about love and relationships and how women should deal with them. Steve says that he wrote this book to empower women with a look inside the minds of men.

I love the part about "Men respect standards". In the show, he said that women should have certain requirements that they would want a man to provide. If a man truly loves you, he would go far to achieve those requirements or standards, no matter how high they are. But unfortunately, nowadays women set their standards too low which shows self-disrespect when women actually have the power to control the relationship by setting the bar higher. As a result, the man can see exactly what you want and if he really wants you, he will live up to those standards. If he doesn't, he's not what you're looking for. Thus, you get a man who go by your rules and treats you with respect! :)

It may seem like a grown-up book or something matured, but I'm just a kid~ who happens to love it when women are in power. Hehe..

If y'all wanna read a portion of the book,

right here!!

Okay, just wanna talk about that for women pleasure. ^_^


Tuesday, November 17, 2009

aYan - The Movie

Have you seen it?? I haven't.

Some time earlier this year, a friend of mine told me that she saw a huge billboard on the highway advertising the movie,


At first, I was like, "Seriously??".. I didn't really believe it..

But then a few weeks after that, I was on the highway and I actually saw the billboard. It was light blue and HUGE (of course)..
I started laughing by myself in the car..then "OMG!! WTF is that????"

So okay, this movie is the same as my nickname - I'm famous~!! Haha. But, not so psyched~ I don't ever wanna see that billboard again.. Well, because..

Yes, its an Indian movie..that's probably why I haven't seen it yet. Just when I've totally forgotten about this whole thing, and I thought that the ad was already taken down, I was watching TV, and out came an ABO commercial of the Thangathirai Movie that was showing..

Yes, it was the movie, aYan..


Monday, November 16, 2009

Quit being a coward and show yourself..

If you haven't read the profile on the sidebar, read now.

This blog is my personal diary. I would love to write every shit I wanna write here. But, I won't do that, to avoid offending others. I have reasons for wanting my blog to stay at piczo. Piczo isn't very known by many people and I prefer it that way. Just the people I tell knows my site. When you sign up for blogspot, people (that you don't want them to read) can easily find you. So many people read and thus, so many people judge.

If you feel you're so close to me that you deserve to know the real story of everything I write here, but you don't know, then just ask for it.

If you feel you're such a close friend of mine that you already know everything about my life, then take the freedom to judge me.

But one thing I'm assure of, people who I tell my entire life to, they don't judge me simply by what I blog about. So, if you just happen to respond negatively to my posts, then the answer to why that's happening is, you're not close to me and you don't know everything about me. What I'm tryna say is, don't judge people without knowing everything you need to know to judge.

I'm open to your comments and responses, but as mentioned on the profile, don't slag me off anonymously. Come face me and tell me what you feel. Don't be a coward by just leaving a piece of your fucked-up mind on my blog without giving me my say.

This is me. This is my diary. This is my life. Whether you find it boring or exciting or stupid or whatever. I don't care.

If you're uncomfortable with what I write, just comment with your real self, no need to pose and no need to keep your name private. Or else just move on with your life.


Saturday, November 14, 2009

The headteacher didn't let me go camping..


Because she was afraid that I'd faint. She said everyone is going to be off the campsite during activities so if I'm staying at the campsite, I'll be lonely..


Most definitely.. I've got 2 extra holidays without having to ask abi to stay home :) . Its also a good thing because today I have a major headache that hurts so bad and I don't know how to make it stop.

What am I doing at home??

Well, holidays are about to begin and I just laid out some beautiful purple fabric that I bought before exams. I'm finally gonna start making that smocked dress that I've been longing to make all year but never had the chance to. Yay!!

Aite~ gonna carry on mencari ilham..


Thursday, November 12, 2009

kant0i..huhu..letting out my anger now~


I ditched be with two of my closest people.... As everybody left the house around 8.30.. The house is empty.. So, of course if you know me, then you'll know what happened..hehehe...

And then around ride to Nisaa's house arrived..

I was facing one of my hugest fears.. Owh my..the last time I was on a motorbike was like...uuhhh... 3rd grade I think.. Humm... abi don't take me on motorbikes anymore. I'm too scared.. Stayed at Nisaa's house till about half past four.

When I got home, that's when I heard something that I didn't wanna hear ever in my unmarried life..(haha)..

The eavesdropper told me what she heard.. Dear-dear me.. This time its gotta be over for real.. I was also told that **E* gave my best girl a call to find out the truth.. I couldn't help shaking..

All I was thinking..

It's over..
I'm doomed..
**** is dead meat..

And then later..when I told ****.. Of course **** wants to know exactly what happened.. It turned out that **E* didn't call Nisaa after all.. **E* rang his friend and asked..

"Dude, do you know who is A**** form4???"

I was like wuuuuttt??? The person's name is not A****~!!! It's ****!! Without the "A"!!

But, the brighter side is.. God help us.. I thought it was gonna be through..and with **E* method of settling things, I thought **** was gonna get a beating~~...huhu...noooooo~~

Okay, so who am I to be angry at here??..

Well, lets see if you can guess.. this person cries A LOT. Even when he doesn't need to. This person had done a lot for me.. good and very bad.. So I didn't want to let him get the best of me..

Why do I blame this person??

After things were through between me and two months through~ He arranged a meeting with my mom.. I didn't even know about this until, like, two weeks after the meeting.. He told my mom a lot of things.. including **** and trying to make **** look bad to my mom.. WTF?? How dare YOU!! You're talking sh*t about other people but did you forget what sh*t you did to me???

And here's the results to your stupid not-so-secret-anymore meeting with my mom.. You think its gonna bring me and **** down?? NO ..never for your dumbest scheme..

Final words for this fucked up lets-meet-her-mom-to-settle-things boy??

Stay away from me.. You don't need to text me to say "**** tgh maen bola" I already know that.. Don't try to find reasons to bother me.. Don't bother my mom. Don't bother my siblings. Don't bother my dad (he'll chop off your head). Leave us alone.



And so that concludes the "letting out my anger" session...

Lets talk about today...

1. Abi's home from Jordan..and he bought chocolates..yumm!!
2. Mlmh Ain told me I can't go to camping tomorrow..humm..she's worried that I'd get ill at P.D.
3. It's abang's birthday today~~!!

I hope you noticed that I got your age right this year..hehe..unlike last year..
But, of course you're spending your night at the cinema with your guys watching 2012..
Hope you're having fun then...come home soon cuz the flour has been ready since this morning...

Okay that's all for today..

Love y'all..


Thursday, November 05, 2009

a-a-a-I'm feeling sick cuz it's so contagious~

Today I'm at home. Not in school. I'm not feeling very well.. First it was abi, then abg, then umi.. and now me. So its extremely contagious.. I slept through the entire morning..

Today's supposed to be an addmath paper and I really wanted to go to school.. I didn't wanna skip addmath.. But I really can't do much with a weak body.. Guess I'll have to take it next week..

I'm starting to feel real dizzy now..and hungry too..

Humm..missing friends at school..who were just killing their brains to answer addmath... Paper ended at one... Don't worry guys.. It's over..hehe..

By the way, I've been so very addicted to this song lately..because its just so contagious~

Lyrics | Boys Like Girls Lyrics | Contagious Lyrics


Sunday, November 01, 2009

New gallery finally ready..

Stardoll has failed to bring back the previous version of piczo..~ So... I've decided to store my picz elsewhere.. So the link for the new gallery is..

...somewhere on this blog...its not that hard to find..hehe...

New albums in the new gallery are..

  • Raya 09 - Kuantan
  • Jamuan Raya Sekolah 09
  • Rumah Nisaa
  • Skool Trip - Cameron Highlands 09

    Credits to a certain friend of mine who suggested for me to use this photo site for a gallery..

    Also taking this chance to wish Happy 11th birthday!! to my dear cousin, Ikin

    K..that's all peeps.. Enjoy the new gall..

  • Photobucket

    Thursday, October 29, 2009

    mini cooper..

    me: Look, its *a***..
    person next to me: Where??
    me: In the cooper. (thinking in my faster!!)
    person next to me: It's okay..passed us already...

    I was on the road the other day, just passed PKNS on my left heading towards simpang 3 when I saw someone going towards the opposite direction driving a cream and black (I think) mini cooper..
    (Actually I'm not sure if *a*** was the driver or passenger cuz the car was moving fast and they both looked the same.. Its like a photocopy machine!)

    Suddenly, ..
    ...flashbacking... (owh no~)

    At least *a*** didn't see me.. I don't think so..

    But anywayz, sweet ride~


    Tuesday, October 27, 2009


    It happened last week.. I didn't want to write about it earlier because I wanted to be sure that it was completely settled.

    Yes, I admit. Last week I confronted the most powerful student in the school. I practically 'attacked' the person with some very harsh words.. humm.. All the person did was nod and said.. .."I'm sorry"..and smile..

    The next day, the person came to see me to get a better explanation of what it was exactly that I was confronting the person with.. The person tried to shoot back at me with some words..but then my mouth just opened and answered.. I won't explain leniently about something I'm really unsatisfied with just because the person is powerful in school..

    Just FYI to all.. I was sort of mad at the person but I didn't raise my voice.. I only tried to make my speech professional only because the way the person replied was kinda professional as well..

    Also something that y'all should know.. I truly respect the person for who the person is at school.. But, honestly when I spoke to the person.. I was referring to who the person was at home.. So actually, the problem I had with the person was a personal issue.. It was nothing to do with school and nobody else was supposed to put their noses into it..

    I wasn't trying to make a scene, I was trying to stand for my rights.. I hope y'all understand that it was totally 100% personal and I hope that y'all don't judge me or the person without knowing the real story..

    And a message to some guy who heard our conversation partially..

    You totally got it wrong.. You don't even know what the issue was about.. I'd appreciate if you just keep your effing gob shut.. Thanks..

    You know who you are if I'm talking about you..

    Anyways.. moving on.. a different person now..

    I have a dark cloud over my head today.. and possibly tomorrow too..and the next day..and the next..and the next.. God knows when it will go away..

    I fell.. Hard.. And landed on concrete..
    (that's just symbolic, okay~)

    The last time this happened, it lasted just over a day.. but this time may be for good..
    [Not really, we always say so..but it never really ends..]
    *sweet promises* remember them..

    Lyrics | Avril Lavigne Lyrics | When You%27re Gone Lyrics

    Owh why does the border have to be pink.. I just can't be bothered to customize~


    Monday, October 19, 2009

    Falling for you..

    Sooo...okay.. the post below lasted just over 24 hours..and then well....
    the telephone goes.."KRING KRING!!"
    it reads.. "****** Calling.."
    I don't put real names in my phone.. hehe..

    Lyrics | Colbie Caillat Lyrics | Fallin%27 For You Lyrics


    Wednesday, October 14, 2009

    simple single or single mingle? difference??

    Okay.. First of all.......

    Simple single
    Its when you're single, definitely not in a relationship, not dating, not playing and definitely not searching..

    Single mingle
    Its also when you're single, not in a relationship, more specific, not labelled as somebody's boyfriend or girlfriend.. but you may be dating or searching or mixing with people.. If you play, you're're just a player.

    What happened at Cameron?
    I'm aware of the eyes. And in this case, the mouth too. People are talking again. The roses, the huge open air wave at the uhh..tea garden[??!!], the "waiting for you at A&W" and so on..

    But that was yesterday, things can change in just an hour...

    Just wanna say, today, I'm officially simple single. No dates. No mingles anymore. Just mates. So quit talking. And quit eyeing on me.


    Saturday, October 10, 2009

    My leading man in pink!!

    Blogging from Nisaa's home.. Just had some time with Mr. PinkBear.. hehe..


    Yesterday's Lunchdate~

    Dear diary,

    She: apple.pinkchoc
    He[??!!]: scruff93

    Venue: Taman Tropika Playground
    More specific?: The slide
    Time: Mase banin solat jumaat.. 1pm till 2.45pm.. I think..
    Food: Super rings, twisties, sausage rolls, yoghurt drink, strawberry milk
    Discussion Topics: gang, backstabbers, SHONEN..haha

    Romantic moment: Feeding super rings to each other..
    Cracker moment: Looking at pictures in Fitr4h..
    Merajuk moment: Refusing to share secrets..
    Playful moment: Sliding down the slide..
    Silly moment: Getting stuck while sliding down..haha..
    Honest moment: pinky swear..hehe..
    Sweet moment: Fell asleep on her lap on the way home..


    Monday, September 28, 2009

    This is a story about a lawyer.

    2nd Syawal 1430H. I came home (umah datuk) from the beach around 7. I went upstairs to the girls room and found my elder cousin, who is a law student at UiTM, talking to my aunty, who happens to be a successful lawyer. My younger cousins were there too, looking rather interested in the conversation. So was I. Very interested.

    My aunty was a science student back in high school when she was fully determined and commited to get accepted for medic in UM. Unfortunately, even with good SPM results, she failed to do so thus putting her in frustration. So she then went to seek help from a teacher who suggested for her to take law instead. At first she very much disliked the idea of taking law, but somehow in the end, the teacher managed to convince her into it. ...How? Why??

    By this time, my younger cousins were....sort of..listening..

    Her voice went on.

    "Law is a combination of science and arts"

    Okay, my aunty loves science. Of course when you're a lawyer working on murder cases or health-related cases such and such, this is where science comes in.. So where does art go??

    Obviously art in law is not drawing, painting or editing pictures in photoshop..hehe..

    Law -----> Art = Literature

    Literature?? I immediately thought of the vocabs and the big 10-letter words she was using throughout her entire dialog and how I was nowhere near that. I can never make dramatic sentences like she does though I can definitely make a scene when I'm mad or gaga..

    Thinking back, she didn't mention earlier that she was into literature. So, NOW she decides to tell us about her involvements in debates and public speaking. One of her achievements was coming in second place for public speaking in Piala Diraja Pahang. If she came first, she would have represented Pahang for the national competition. Wow. All I could do was rub my ring.

    By the way, at this point my younger cousins were fast asleep..

    When I listen to my aunty's experiences, she made it feel like law is the most desirable course to take. However, of course, in every good thing there is always a glitch..

    When you're a lawyer working for the public, you always fear that one day you might have defended the wrong person. Or charge the wrong person for a crime they didn't commit, or intend to commit. Therefore, being a lawyer is not always a noble job. Even though my aunty loves her career as a lawyer, she admits that if she had a chance to, she would love to become a doctor or teacher instead, providing her service in more accepted or honoured way by everyone.

    I've no clue why I was so focused in the conversation, but conclusion here is, when my aunty decided to become a doctor, she ignored her other potential, which is speaking in public. But in the end, she found a path where both her strengths are joined together.

    Science + Arts = Law.

    Morals to take:
    1. When making choices for a course you want to take in U, always think widely and open your mind to other options.
    2. Never talk law with those 12 below, they'll sleep.
    3. Law is not for me..hehe..


    me: you're cute ---- lil' cuz: I know!

    Humm..since piczo is retarted until nowhere to upload raya picz..

    First raya..

    Najah: Your "baju kurung" is already nice, but are you seriously gonna wear those shoes..??
    Me: I don't have other shoes. These are my raya shoes..

    Second raya..

    Some guy on the beach: Phewwitt~!! Baju dah lawa dah.. Kasut rock arr!!
    Me thinking: I donno u.. Wadeve..

    Third Raya..

    Adik sepupu: Hahaha!! Kakyan..tu kasut raye kakyan ke?? Clash larr!!
    Me: Ye..gelak larr..

    If you had raya with me this'll know what shoes I wore..hehe.. Owh wasn't that bad....was it..?


    Friday, September 18, 2009

    ..its finally over..

    I want you to know that it doesnt matter
    Where we take this road someone's gotta go
    And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
    But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

    I'm saying "finally" not as a sign of relief.. But as a sign of "we saw it coming"..

    Been months now.. It was becoming pretty clear to the both of us.. But unfortunately, I didn't know how to tell this to the girls because what they saw was a very close friendship full of happiness..

    Maybe some of the girls know but my long time school best friend doesn't know this.. I don't know how to tell her.. It just happened so fast.. One minute everything was perfectly fine, then the next hour was crashing and burning..

    So no more messages, phone calls, chocolates... Just left with a broken heart...

    Its true people say the song you're attached to is chosen by your heart to reflect your current status or situation, for my case.. So to all those peeps who spread shit rumours and still spreading them now.. Just let it go already.. They were never true anyway..

    Lyrics | Kelly Clarkson Lyrics | Already Gone Lyrics

    *This song is first on the jukebox, by the way, if you wanna listen..

    And talking of my school best friend, its her birthday today.. Happy sweet 16, dearest.. ^_^


    Thursday, September 17, 2009

    Girl code. Best friend code. ~ Backstabber

    So....what if this best friend or best girl is a backstabbing b*tch.. She exposes every sh*t about you to the world..whether its real or fake.. What do you do then..??

    What would I do if my best girl is a backstabber??

    First of all, be cool and calm. For one thing, you have to know confidently that you have other friends who knows you very well and wouldn't believe every rumour they hear..

    Second of all, remember she's your best girl.. Don't act irrationally. If it helps to hold you back, flashback on a couple of happy memories.. Or if you're the aggressive, full of anger type, put away all her pictures.. Make sure her face is no where for you to be seen when you're at home.. Because if you see her in school, then home is the only time you are not around her.. Make sure she's not there with you..

    There are other small things I did to avoid a breakdown.. But I don't have time to type all that.. Haha

    Finally, again remember, she's still your best girl.. If you can't live with what she did.. Then its time you let her go.. But if can put up with it.. then it would be a friendship without trust..because you would have to keep your secrets away from her..which is not healthy by the way.. So, best you let her go..

    Never fight fire with fire..

    Note: I'm not advising. I'm pissed. So I'm telling the story.


    Wednesday, September 16, 2009

    Beautiful, beautiful white gown..

    My friend arrived with a red paper bag.. Of course all the girls are wondering what's in it...

    What's in the bag?? I peeped inside and ended up digging out a beautiful, beautiful white gown with beaded flowers on it.. Apparently, one of my friends is getting ENGAGED..............................

    So, okay..we all crowded.. What's this all about?? We never thought your man was gonna propose so soon??


    "It's not him, it's someone else...."....

    we were all like....."wuuuutt???"

    She: Y'all know I've been having conflicts with Mr. X for ages..its not gona go on anymore.. I'm getting engaged with someone else..

    Me: Does Mr. X know about this?? Do your parents approve??

    She: No, I'm not telling Mr. X. My parents approve straight up.. He's a bussinessman..


    Later, when I had a little privacy time with this friend, I asked her..


    Me: Are you for real?

    She: I don't know.. But its gona happen.. I want it to happen..

    Me: Are you READY??!!

    She: I don't know..

    Me: What's his name?

    She: ********i


    Okay..I had a longer conversation with her about Mr. X and this new guy... So let it be.. All the girls know her conflicts with Mr. X.. Just marrying another man was not the solution we thought she would take... but girl, if you want this.. I'm with ya..


    Tuesday, September 15, 2009

    Girl code. Best friend code. ~ Players and Ex[s]

    Definition 1: The code that entitles a best friend to do something, mainly because they are the best friend. There aren't actually written rules, you just have to remain loyal. You'll know in your heart if it's something you have to do.

  • Don't back-stab your friend.
  • Don't black-mail your friend, even if she becomes an EX-friend.
  • Don't talk about your friend [badly] behind her back, unless it's just like a minor issue that you want to let off your shoulders.
  • Don't go out with your friend's brother unless she is fine with it.
  • Don't b*tch at her because you're having a bad day.
  • Don't choose a relationship over a true friendship, unless the friend is a back-stabbing b*tch who made your life miserable and only pretended to be your friend.


    There are so many more..but the one code I'm focusing on in this post is..


    An important BFF code: The unwritten rules of friendship. Never have a relationship with someone your best friend has feelings for. Never sleep with your best friend's exes, no matter what they say. Even if they say it's okay and they approve, don't do it if you are a true friend. And if you do, you're not a true friend.


    You've no idea how many times I repeated Demi Lovato's "World of Chances" that night...or how many times I repeated Alesha Dixon's "Breathe Slow" after rethinking the situation and how slightly, possibly a lot, pissed I was after that..

    Players, they always want the "buy one, get one free" offer.. I apologise~ I'm not a tuuuuut~!! You can't "buy one, get one free" with me and her..or with any girl for that matter. If you date her, I'm off-limits. Forever. If you date me, she's off-limits. Again stressing, FOREVER.
  • I stand by her for as long as she has feelings..


    Monday, September 14, 2009

    Just been for an ultrasound..

    I left school around 2 o'clock today for an ultrasound at KPJ, Kajang..

    I've told some of my friends I was going for an ultrasound and some of them were like, "Does it hurt??" Hehe..well.. I wouldn't know at the time since this is my first..

    I was kinda afraid but I knew its not painful.. I'm sure some of y'all reading have been for ultrasounds before.. No, it did not hurt except for when the doctor pressed the scanner against my scar. That hurts.

    Then I was also asked to take an x-ray.. Strange cuz my doctor from an-nur didn't say anything about an x-ray..

    The x-ray room was....scary.. I've been for x-rays before, but this one is different...

    I lent against the machine. The nurse said she was going to countdown and I have to take a deep breath and hold... Usually, its only because they want to get a perfect they need us to stay still.. But then...

    Nurse: Okay...tahan sikit ye... 1, 2, 3.. tarik nafas...

    And then



    Sunday, September 13, 2009

    On a search for a new photo gallery..

    My current photo gallery is still piczo, but since piczo is so difficult now (it takes forever), I have to find a new one for my hundreds and hundreds of snaps..

    A friend of mine suggested not long ago to list all of the "sort of good" photo galls and test them all out for a month, then choose my favourite. So, I took that idea and I ended up choosing these three for trying out:


    But if y'all have better suggestions, do let me know..

    Characteristics of what I want as my photo gall :

  • FREE. Completely 100% FREE.
  • Unlimited uploads and displays
  • Allow album passwords
  • Allow embed(ing) album or single photos
  • Provides a personal link eg. or

    I've already checked out flickr, photobucket, myphotoalbum, picasa, zoomr, imageshack and a couple others.. So far, one host that definitely fulfill all the charasteristics above is picoy, that would be the reason its my number one choice right now..but I'm still exploring.. ^_^

  • Saturday, September 12, 2009

    World of Chances..

    Why am I blogging so late..

    I had a fight with someone just not long ago.. Damn, it was a pretty bad fight because I think I just lost a friend.. I did try to apologise, but that just made it worse..

    "Apologies are often open ended, but this was better left unsaid~" - Demi Lovato

    You're not stupid, bangang, sucker, bodoh..or whatever else.. I never said any of that and if somebody did, FUCK THEM, because you're not all that..

    This was a song I shared with this person, and it had meaning to our friendship.. If its really over, at least I've blogged it so I won't forget..

    Lyrics | Demi Lovato Lyrics | World Of Chances Lyrics


    Friday, September 11, 2009

    I got a "GREEN MAGAZINE"....but its WHITE~!!

    ...this mag was also labelled UGLY by somebody.. But I happen to think its OKAY~

    Its a lot thinner than the past magazines, and the year 2008/4th edition was not written on the cover..

    But hey, I'm appreciating the very complicated design of the background for each freakin' page.. That's a WOW. I'm amazed.

    Changed my mind, LOVE the new magazine actually, probs be my favourite so far out of all 4 editions, ignoring the fact that I never saw the 1st one.. Maybe because this time it was a lot more practical and the design is waaaayy~~ better than the past ones.. No offence to those who helped make the earlier editions..hehe..

    k..just wanted to talk about that for my own pleasure... ^_^


    Monday, September 07, 2009

    Big, big, world....

    Yesterday, I stuck my phone to my ear for about an hour and a half, listening to a friend cry so badly and letting out feelings.. I barely said anything.. The only few words that I said was..

    "Its okay" -- "hmm" -- "yea, I know" -- "you're gonna be okay" -- "I'ts alright"

    You can pretty much guess what it's about...

    My sis told me about this song.. Quite an old song..but still love it.. Dedicated to this friend of mine and everyone who went through the same thing.. hehe

    Lyrics | Emilia Lyrics | Big Big World Lyrics


    Bring back the old piczo~!!

    I've been a loyal piczo member for 4 years and my personal site has been the same address since I first created it.. Piczo has made thousands of changes and I'm pretty sure most of them are improvements..

    Piczo has annoyed me a couple of times before by losing some of my photos that I had uploaded..but that was only because they were editing the navigations..such and such.. Soon enough, they recovered my photos.. They've also lost my blog posts but they recovered those too..

    What actually made me switch back to blogspot??

    Once upon a morning, I signed in to my piczo to check my piczo mail.. .....WTFJH??? All the piczo navigations have changed.. No one knows how to access their mail, access their friends list, edit their page or change their fact, there is no navigation to access all that.. There are so many more glitches that I didn't list, and I'm not the only one who hates them.. Practically EVERY PICZO MEMBER HATES PICZO now.. Most piczo members commented that they would have deleted their account if only they knew how to access the "My Account" page..~ I have to be honest.. Piczo sucks bad now..

    Why does Piczo sucks bad now??

    Rumour has it that piczo is now owned by StarDoll.. like OMG~ That really sucks.. No wonder the piczo theme colour now is hot pink~~!!

    So of course, with all this hate, Piczo members have come together to sign a petition to bring back the old piczo, and just to add to that, GIVE PICZO BACK TO ITS ORIGINAL OWNER~!! I really want my old piczo back because aku-raihan has been my personal site for ages..

    Here it is.. If you just happen to have a GoPetition account, do sign..

    Bring The Old Piczo Change Back

    Anyways.. Thats all I gotta say~~ Even if I do start using my piczo again, I'm not leaving blogspot..


    Saturday, September 05, 2009

    Back to blogspot..~

    Piczo changed.. originally, I wanted to keep my blog as piczo.. Because I've uploaded all my videos, photos, such and such there..and I've been a loyal piczo member since 15th July 2005, even when piczo gets annoying, and I had thoughts of switching blogs..I still stuck with piczo. Until now the versions changed..lost a couple of took them quite a while to recover and that was more than annoying..

    This is not a new blog.. I've used blogspot before.. This is a re-lived blog.. So I have all my old posts ever since December 2004.. and I transferred my blogposts from piczo to here.. I didn't kill my piczo though.. Its just a gallery now..

    What else to say.. I didn't really like this design.. But my sisters wanted it to be feminine.. so okay.. whatever.. But credits to them for the header pic, Najah chose the caption, I don't really mind..and kakak designed it..[Abg didn't install PS on this comp]

    Besides that, welcome to my re-lived 2004 blog~


    Monday, August 31, 2009

    I'm a kid..hehe

    Listening to Boys Like Girls feat. Taylor Swift. Two Is Better Than One..its on repeat..
    Currently completing a bio folio..humm..

    Yesterday, me and my family went to Carrefour Subang Jaya.. and najah wanted to go to Subang Parade which is right next to Carrefour.. but..abi didn’t let We tried to enjoy ourselves..

    We went to browse the kid’s isle..full of toys.. Y’all know how there are those baby toys with lots of buttons to press.. and huge colourful pianos.. We were so bored that we pressed every button that can be pressed on those toys.. We made quite a noise at the isle..but thankfully there was not many people was really fun.. 

    So where did all the kids go?? We looked around..apparently Carrefour hired a clown to make balloons for the kids.. All the kids were crowding and waiting for a balloon.. I wanted so much to join the crowd of kids and get myself a specially-shaped balloon.. But of would seem rather awkward since all the kids were not taller than 1 metre..hehe..and if I joined the kids.. Najah was ready to make a run for it..hehe..

    So we carried on browsing at different isles..staying well away from the clown..
    But later..when the crowd of kids had disappeared..the clown saw me looking at shoes..

    clown: Hye..(huge smile)
    me: hye..(huge smile back at him)
    clown:…(just stare)
    me: Can I get a balloon..?
    clown: hehe..sure.. What shape do you want? (blew up a long red balloon with the pump)
    me: (giggle) I don’t know..surprise me..

    Everyone around saw me get a balloon from the clown..then..suddenly other older kids weren’t afraid to ask for a balloon too..hehe.. I thanked the clown..and left with my red flower balloon..

    Friday, August 28, 2009

    rich to richest~

    These picz were published with permission of my bruv..haha


    Last night.. My siblings and I played a game of saidina.. We started playing right after buke pose.. around 8.15..It was the five of us..anas teamed up with abg..he threw the dice for abg..anas had this lucky prayer...

    "bismillah..smoge abg sye dpt mng.."

    ..hehe..he'd say it everytime he throws the dice..we stopped at 9 for tarawih then continued at 10...kakak forfeit since she was too sleepy to then its jus me, najah abg n anas..

    Abg bought almost everything he landed on and made 4 houses on almost every single one of his of and najah ended up paying him a lot money..and we ended up giving up our properties to him..he had this very evil laugh..and it was pretty annoying..we just wanted to slap his face everytime he laughed like that..humm.. He got rich pretty fast..

    Then he landed on a decision step..picked up a card and BAM!! He had to pay tax for every single one of his house..hahaha..serves him right for the evil laugh!! But I guessed it didn't stop him from winning.. We played until 12.30.. and he won anyway..

    ..bummer.. he can get his hairy legs out of me and najah's room..


    Wednesday, August 26, 2009

    Much better..

    Got bac from my appointment with the doctor around 3..

    Blood test results..thankfully, things are improving..blood count back to normal..and practically everything else is pretty good now..including rate of blood pressure..^_^ strangely, my body is still very tired at times..the doctor says there are so many more tests to take..

    When I became her patient, she didn't think it would be difficult to diagnose me..but now she sees the symptoms are too general..she mentioned about a certain disease [which I didn't catch the name of]..the cause of this particular disease cannot be found.. Its when your body just gets tired when it wants to, but all your blood tests and all that are perfectly fine..but she also said that no doctor will suspect the disease unless every possible test is I have thousands more tests to take..

    Next appointment is in 2 test is not a blood test but an ULTRASOUND~~on my other ovary~~ awww..mann.. I really don't want to know the status of my sterility at this age..haha.. If y'all know my health story back in 2007, you'll know what I'm on about..hehe..anyways..ultrasound is not taken in an-nur but in KPJ in Kajang..

    Huhh..I'm not worried about having an ultrasound, but I'm just worried of the results..if my cyst repeats, just do the operation but don't tell me..cuz I really don't want to know, although I have to..

    Moving on..enough health talk, this song is from the Lines, Vines, and Trying Times album by the Jonas Brothers..I love it cuz of the whole story behind the song..hehe

    Lyrics | Jonas Brothers Lyrics | Much Better Lyrics

    I dOn'T kNoW wHat TiTle To PuT..

    feeling down with no chocolate to fix the heart..getting a fever..but thankfully I already have an appoinment with my doctor today..

    Changed two things on the site if you've noticed..

    -The header pic ~ remember the ring I blogged about not long ago..just wana give y'all a clearer view of it..
    -The playlist ~ these are the songs I've been listening to lately..some breakup songs, some just songs to keep me happy..

    Talking of breakup, I found an old post by a friend of mine on her myspace (I'm not addicted to it), its about breakup tips. Haha.. I've tried some of them before, they work! 

    One of them was, remember the bad things that your ex have done to you.. Trust me, it makes you feel a lot better..hehe..

    Btw, I've been addicted to making signs lately..cuz I've requested signs from others, thus I have to make them signs in if you want me to make you one just leave a message to my piczo, email or comment or something..

    aite..aYan logging out of piczo~

    Tuesday, August 25, 2009


    watching princess protection program on the net.. hehe I'm not patient enough to wait for the disney channel premiere..September 6th for Southeast Asia..

    Click to watch Princess Protection Program

    Talking of disney..

    Loving 1st singles by Emily Osment - All the way up -- album [no name yet] out March 9th 2010~
    and also Selena Gomez and the scene - Falling down -- album [kiss and tell] out Semptember 29th..

    take a listen on the mixpod playlist..

    Monday, August 24, 2009


    A lot of people are like..

    "aYan ada myspace??"
    "Raz, add me on myspace"
    "yan, ade myspace kn?? add taw"
    "k'yan ada myspace x?? kite bru wat.."
    "hey gurl, add me on myspace, if you don't have one, make one LOLZ" know its you if you've quoted any of the above to okay..I get it..people love myspace..Its just that I'm a super lazy person..just worried that I won't be updating..but since people keep telling me to make finally I did..add me if you like..

    If you're wondering, RBPS stands for Robert Bakewell Primary School and LHS stands for Limehurst High School..

    I tried a couple of urls that I wanted..but they're all taken..but I don't know why I decided to have my old schools as my myspace url~..

    And hopefully I won't be obsessed with myspace, unlike some people..haha.. 

    Sunday, August 23, 2009

    patient with the internet~

    just quick updates..

    After a long hard research[??!!] haha..and a lot of patience with internet.. I finally got the hang of using iframes.. thanks to xvintage-codes~!! I applied the use of iframe for all of V's pages, excluding V eDitz..and maybe in the future..when I'm a little more dedicated and a lot less lazy..hehe..I might just use iframe for the entire site..or might not..iframes are tricky..

    If you noticed, I also got rid of the piczo toolbar at the top.. It just finally got too annoying.. I just wonder how I was patient with it before and didn't remove it earlier..hmm..

    earlier updates..

    V eDitz - features V's blends when she was messing around with PS..and..
    Daily Ding Dongs~my monthly google calendar..don't ask me what ding dong means.. I just like saying it..

    Friday, August 21, 2009



    See the ring?? Just to prove to you that its my hand in the picture, this little pic was taken from a photo at Cameron Highlands, its in the "Cameron Highlands 09" page somewhere..with the caption "tryna fit everybody in"..

    Anyways..I wear this ring practically almost everywhere I go..except for school.. I wore it to the MUSLEH debate, I wore it for the mock debate last week (if anybody noticed), I wear it when I go shopping, I wear it to events..appointments, blood tests..such and such.. Its very special to me..wanna know why?? keep reading..

    You know how girls where makeup or jewellery for confidence?? (maybe you don't know) Well, I call this ring my "confidence ring".. It was bought for me by my elder sister a couple of years ago during a shopping spree.. I'm not a huge fan of bracelets or necklaces.. and the only piece of makeup accessory I enjoy wearing would be eye-liner and lip balm (which technically, does not count as makeup).. So she wanted to buy me a piece of jewellery, since I didn't like bracelets and all that so I suggested rings..

    Since then, I wore this ring everywhere I go..because somehow I feel confident with this particular ring.. I do own other rings which also give me confidence..hehe..but this ring had something different about it..maybe the place it was bought..or the day it was bougth..or..maybe the person who bought it..but either way, out of all rings I have, this is the one I feel most confident with..

    And that is the story of my confidence ring..

    Unfortunately, people tend to misunderstand the ring for a certain commitment..which is rather crazy.. About a month ago, a guy friend called me up.. He asked about the ring, "are you engaged or something??", of course not..and I explained that the ring was from my sister.. A couple of people at school also think that I'm not single, which is rather funny, if y'all read my past posts, I mentioned I don't want a certain special someone for a long, long, long time..

    Okay, yes..admitting the fact that I have many close guy friends which a majority of them don't go to my school anyway..but don't get it wrong, I'm not with anyone..

    The reason I'm typing this is because some rumour spread that I'm "with" this guy who just happens to be super-close to me.. I just want to clear it out..I'm still single and mingling..haha~

    Its a confidence ring, and yes, if y'all happen to see me out and about, I'll be wearing this everywhere..^_^

    Now, moving on to the daily thoughts and ding dongs.. Blood test was cancelled on wednesday and postponed to thursday, but since I was giving my commitment to debate on thursday after school (unlike some people who were supposed to be there but weren't), the blood test is cancelled again and the date is moved to today but not sure what time..

    But anywayz.. I'm pissed with someone right now.. Usually when I talk about someone on this blog, I refer to them as "that person" and rarely as their name.. but this time I'm being straight. It's a he. He was a close friend.. he hangs with my bruv constantly, which I have no problem with, but he couldn't come straight to me to ask about my status, he had to go and ask my close girlfriends about whatever he wanted to know about me.. I've told him already the truth, unfortunately, he didn't trust my words.. Well if you don't believe what I told you, I'm fine with that but don't go around asking my girls anything~!!

    He was a close friend, was.. now I don't really know anymore.. I ws never "with" him or anything but this song is for you anyway..

    Lyrics | Ashley Tisdale Lyrics | Its Alright Its Okay Lyrics

    Tuesday, August 18, 2009

    Coke tastes so good when I'm dizzy..

    I hate it when piczo loses blog posts.. But they always put them back..~

    Currently listening to Vanessa Hudgens Sneakernight album.. haven't listened to it for a while.. Current song playing - Hook it up

    So what's been going on lately.. Well apologies to mates who I mis-sent text messages to.. I've been doing that a lot lately to quite a few people.. I have crazy headaches at night..I mis-clicked the buttons..haha.. And I know some people are slightly frustated with sorry..

    Song Change - Last Night

    I'm a little annoyed with someone right could she do that to me..honestly, try and be happy with yourself for once.. Try and look at the things you have that others don't.. Stop thinking that you have the worst life out of everyone.. Because so many people go through worse things than you.. Stop being so selfish.. Stop thinking that you are always right.. And don't hurt others if you don't want them to hurt you.. Plus shut up if you don't have anything better to say..

    Song Change - Papercut

    Its somebody's birthday today!! hehe..happy 16th.. I can proudly say I'm the first to wish that person happy birthday at 12am this morning.. haha.. I hope that person had a great day.. hehe.. If that person reads this..


    Song Change - Set it off

    Tomorrow..another blood test at an-nur..I just keep wondering how much blood they're going to take this time.. How many tubes do they need?? How many tubes are they gonna spill?? Haha..~ Just yesterday, there was a biology experiment on rate of respiration (i think) and rate of heartbeat.. huhu..mine is a lot lower than everybody else.. expected that coming anyway..haha..

    Final Song Change - Vulnerable (love this song)

    aYan waiting for MUSLEH debate pics from a friend who is supposed to send them to me..can I have them please..huwaaa!!

    Saturday, August 15, 2009

    piczo fight..

    a shout to all my piczo friends..don't fight..please..settle nicely..don't hack into each other's websites and start deleting everything.. and for those being b*tches, just STOP. 

    I did some rounds to all my piczo mates sites..and someone had like a stupid fight over some web modelling thing.. people said, she was the b*tch, some say the abuser was the b*tch.. Come on~ no point fighting over the net..its so stupid.. Don't let haters bring you down.. Keep doing what you do.. 

    If you're wondering..I'm team hannah!!

    Btw..also wishing happy birthday to a friend of mine currently in the USA, anip.. happy 15th~!!

    Update 4.25pm - Since V's killing her piczo site, "my personal favz" page has been changed to V eDitz..just mostly for V's graphics and mine.. 

    Thursday, July 02, 2009

    as alwayzz..

    Listening to taylor swift's fearless album always..when im online late nite, im doing homework or some kind of task due in the next day..

    Its been almost 2 weeks pretending 2 be strong when im about to collapse anytime now.. My breath is getting shorter..and my head has its constant headaches..and the scar from the operation is still killing me.. but since that crazy day where I fell apart at home and screamed as load as i could..I told myself no more sick 2 weeks not in the sick room at all..trying to be as strong as I was 2 years ago.. but everytime i climb those stairs, once i get to the top, my breath is gone..and everytime i sprint for a spilt second, my breath is gone.. a couple of minutes under the hot sun, i could faint..but luckily i did'nt..because catching attention was not what I wanted..

    But people think I havent got enough support..they say i cant be simple n single..i have to get a boyfriend, well tough luck for y'all.. I aint getting one any time soon..I'm happy with the support I currently have from close friends, friends who people think Im not close to..but i am.. No official somebody for a long..long..long..long while.. Besides, if i get extremely ill..i would'nt want to be disappointing or worrying anyone other than family and friends.. So to all those peeps saying, 

    "U need sum1 la..I cant support u all the tym" - well dun wurry..i have plenty of support..hehe, im doin fine..

    n for people who said,

    "u need to be with him..he can support u..even if he's nt least u can support him too" - fine as "teman tapi mesra" with him..

    ..which ever him y'all talking about anyway.. the scary, violent one or the one at U or the one thousands of miles away or the one who likes a different girl every week or the one who is superbly dillusional (lyk me sumtyms..hehe)..or the one who faints everytime he is stressed out or the one who does things even when told not to..or the one i havent seen since holiday last year..or even the one who annoys me at home all the time..hehe

    I'm doing fine..I have a lot of support and im happy with it..but i love y'all for being the caring friends and family and cousins that you are..

    Thank you..

    sincerely, aYan~ (p/s not aYan on the billboard off the highway, if you know what im talking bout..hehe)

    Saturday, June 27, 2009


    got some math thingy in skool 2day..listening 2 fearless album again..hvent been on9 l8ly..too much work... n apparently..someone gave my name in for the school's english debate team..goin against all the MUSLEH's schools in the country..then the winner represents the country for asia..i think.. that probs be hidayah school or summut..newayz heading off updates 4 a while..


    Sunday, June 21, 2009

    A minor block to a recovery!

    staying up again..finishing off a task for school.. currently listening to a nasyeed playlist on my imeem since everytime i play a playlist from the computer, it turns the internet connection off..hurrmm2..wonder wadup wit tat..

    anyway..since i wasn't so well on friday and skipped school on saturday (replacement for eid) people called and texted me to ask if im this is one short dialog..


    Conversation 1

    friend:I dont know how to ask so i just be frank. what's up? haha. well i really wanted to ask you if you have been well these past few days..

    me: Im not well. Im just really very3 ill and i really cant be in school or go out too often.

    friend: Whats happening to you?

    me: Whats happening.. Killer headache. Losing breath. In one word, dying..

    friend: Or on a more optimistic road. A minor block to a recovery! You're too gothic..hehe

    me: Me gothic?? haha..okay then minor block to recovery it is..


    i guess i dont remember each conversation word by word, but i almost got it..


    Conversation 2

    me: I havent been well all year actually but my parents dont believe im ill.

    friend2: haha..did you see a doctor? 

    me: jus the local one..told me to see "pakar"

    friend2: did you??

    me: no, my parents didnt want to..

    friend2: what are you gonna do now??

    me: just go to school.. pretend like im fine.. no more sick room.. and collapsed when i cant stand it..

    friend2: haha. u go prove them wrong then..hehe..


    so..i guess those were 2 of the many conversations I had yesterday.. thanks y'all..really needed the love.. 

    These songs im listening to are vry soft..turns on the serenity in me, gives composure hehe.. gona carry on with that task now..i feel a lot calmer for it..not only because of the songs but because of those conversations i had.. hehe

    Peace out~

    Friday, June 19, 2009

    so he asked, "what subjects have you got in school today??"

    im still vry3 ill..getting worse..listening to 3 songs on tha playlist..the only 3 songs i want 2 hear rite nw..

    a little bit longer - Nick Jonas, Breathe - Taylor Swift and Breathe slow - Alesha Dixon

    so the entire week ive been so vry ill...n i knw it puts burden on other ppl..lyk..the skool..n my frens.. i go 2 skool..get in the sick room..n the nex day i stil attend skool..the only reason 4 dat is..wel..cuz..apparently..2 my illness is fake..i duno hw else 2 put so afraid tat ppl in skool is goin think im pretending gets so tiring..i dun think any1 wana hear the story ovr n ovr..or..have 2 carry me 2 the sick room ovr n ovr..

    So..tis mum had left the house early 2 work..usually if i tell my mum i'm ill..she has her doubts bt stil let me stay home at 2day since she's gone, i had 2 confront my dad wit it..i've done tis so mny tyms b4..n as always he wud think its tats exactly wat hppened..i tol him im ill.. n he asked.."what subjects have you got in school today??" tat 1 question shows clearly tat he thinks im trying 2 avoid certain subjects in skool...i ws pretty i jus went 2 my room, locked the doors..b4 i cud stop myself, i cried..i screamed quietly..(bet u wondering hw i do tat)..n then i told myself..~aite gurl, u goin 2 skool 2day~

    I brought a lot of tissues wit me 2 skool bcuz i sorta knew tat i ws gonna need them..boy, ws i right about that~ I ws climbing the skool stairs n wen i reached the top..i lent against a wall..tryin 2 catch my assembly..i sat at the back..i didnt stand..i let out a few tears..of cuz avoiding ppl..a friend of mine who has the sme illness also sat wit me during assembly..we both went 2 the sick room 2gether after tat..she barely goes 2 wen she does, im super happy 2 c her.. ..i told her i cudnt stay home 2day bt i resisted on telling y..she told me she cudnt neither..every1 sees her as this really happy person tho she's ill.. bt i saw it differently..cuz she goes thru tha sme pain as me..

    I wanted 2 tell her bout my parents jus 2 know if she's goin thru wat i go thru wit my prents..bcuz i ws already goin i told her anyway..bout wat my dad said 2 me tis mrnin..n believe it or nt..she cudnt stay home 2day 4 the sme reason - her dad..her prents thot she faked as wel..all those days she dint attend skool..her mum jus cudnt care less anymore bcuz she ws so cnvinced that she's fake..OMG~ she went thru the sme thing..only her lil sisters believe her so wel..bcuz they c wat goes on in skool...i nvr thot that she wud she did..she understood evryting..she used 2 cry as much as i did bout she got so used 2 it..she jus cudnt cry nemore..

    I ws so hpy tat she gets it.. I tell her a lil more bout stuff tats hppening aroun the house..n her family went thru the sme thing..

    I jus thought, finally, i cn talk 2 sum1..she thought the sme thing..n i cudnt feel happier tho i cried..she ws right there telling me the sme stories tat hppen in her realy lifted a huge weight off me..

    so anyway..posting a song on here..tis is a song written n sang by nick jonas..a little bit longer..he wrote tis song wen he gt the news about being diagnosed wit diabetes.. so i guess tats y i wana hear it..bcuz im so vry ill.. n tis song is about him being ill..

    Lyrics | Jonas Brothers Lyrics | A Little Bit Longer Lyrics

    Wednesday, June 17, 2009

    fun art

    im vry ill...heating up as well...jus post 2 tell y'all bout tis blog i share wit my sisters..its called "Fun Art" n its all bout sisters would post their paintings n arts..i would post sum of the stuff that ive sewn..

    here it is..check it out..

    need my rest nw..

    Tuesday, June 16, 2009

    come home..

    staying up again..tryna get another task done...listening 2 alesha dixon's breathe slow..i have it on repeat..i realy need composure rite nw...cuz boy, am i freakin out~~

    jus gt a couple of tings tat i wana get off ma chest

    getting ovr tis sh*t ting..its so wrong..tryna show ure real gd..yea i dun doubt hell ure tryin 2 jus dont bring effect..ure effort shows too much..n it makes u look real stupid..if u wana show 2 sum1 ure so thru wit it, make it effortless...~ u knw who u r if im talkin bout u..

    over wit tat..jus talking bout tha prson 1 or 2 posts down....or 3..yea..we had our ups n i remember all the great stuff we did 2gether..tho i do feel safer witout u around..i stil wan u home..wenever u cn..u dun have 2 be aroun wen the man's aroun..jus b aroun evrywen else..i kinda miss havin u aroun tho u stink so much yet u try so hard 2 smell nice..haha..n i ws alwayz kidding wen i said ure hair ws suckish..hehe..u look i meant it bout ure glasses nerd..~~ bt the conclusion is..jus cum nice 2 tha king n queen..n go bac 2 hitting the books..sumtin tat mite actualy giv u a gd chance of a great future...yea..i have problems trusting ppl cuz of i sed..miss havin ya home..

    gettin late...gona finish off tat task..PEACE OUT~~

    breathe slow - alesha dixon

    luving tis song at tha 4 gals who need composure..lyk i seriously do rite nw..haha!!

    Lyrics | Alesha Dixon Lyrics | Breathe Slow Lyrics

    Sunday, June 14, 2009

    last day of hols..

    went 2 KLCC again..tis tym wit umi, abi n anas wit us..we didnt do much..jus play at the playground..n just gt summut 2 eat frm cold storage n took picz....

    KLCC wit fam - 14.06.09 categoried under day outings..

    i finally finished tat hp cases..n dress almos done..mite b a hung project tho since skool is starting..wel..nt gt much 2 say 2nite..nt in a full on mood...

    ovr n out~~

    Saturday, June 13, 2009

    happy day out~ ^_^

    ystrday went out wit my 2 sisters 2 KLCC..

    thursday tha dinner table..all three of us doubted vry much tat neither umi or abi will let us kakak has 2 go anyway 2 UIA 2 hand in her dorm tha plan ws 2 tel umi n abi tat me n najah want 2 cmpny her 2 UIA..then aftr tat, without their notice we go 2 KLCC 2 c Hannah Montanna The Movie..n wel jus hav a nice day out..

    so we did exactly umi n abi we're goin wit kakak 2 of cuz abi knows by mind we wana go elsewhere..hehe..he knows us well..n so we went 2 his office friday mrnin n he gave us summut 2 spend..n then in the elevator..he asked "Nape x g KLCC?? G la KLCC.." n we were lyk..*WOW*..he read our minds..hehe..abi dropped us off at Serdang ktm...n wit abi's approval..we went 2 KLCC..n kakak cntinued her journey 2 UIA n najah went 2 KLCC ws stil early in tha mrnin, so of cuz mny shops were nt opened yet..HM movie starts at me n najah jus went 4 sumut 2 drink then hit Kinokuniya....when kakak arrived, we did sum window shoppin n aftr the movie we hit cold storage 4 sum takeout 2 eat by the fountain at the park..the view ws great..honestly i cnt remember the last tym i went 2 KLCC..of cuz me n my sisters had a lot of laughs, real funny laughs, sumtin i haven't done in a while, especially wit najah around..evrything's hilarious...n we ended walking out of tha park stil laughing n me looking slightly drunk as usual..haha..abi already called 4 us 2 get bac we gt on the unfortunately, 4 abi, fortunate 4 us, we gt stranded at KL central..hehe..of cuz we had more tym 4 window shopping..n sit down 4 drinks...finally, around 3.30 we gt on a train n head home..

    newayz..bac 2 the main reason 4 goin 2 KLCC..

    my thoughts on the movie..

    the movie ws super funneh..set in L.A. at the beginning then mostly in alwayz..Hannah Montanna gets a lot of spotlite..and wit her big secret, its hard 2 keep an average life even in her hometown..n of alwayz, situations get complicated..

    I think, if u enjoy funny disney movies, even if ur nt a crazy miley fan..u should c the movie..bcuz frankly, its probably the best disney movie i've seen..excluding disney channel original movies tho, cuz then HSM's the best...hehe...

    Tell me why..

    can't believe u wud do tis is 4 u..again another song im posting 4 u...honestly..tis song fits quite well..nt in every pretty well...

    plzzz...nt again...enuf tension 4 us all...n u knw who i mean by 'us all'.. I'm nt bulletproof..n i mite b the only 1 who's u shud knw hw much is enuf..

    Tell me why...

    Taylor Swift widget by 6L & Daxii

    Wednesday, June 10, 2009

    can't believe it!!

    I ws scanning thru V's site..( n I realize her HUGE photo gallery of UK picz has more photos than mine!! HAH!! Can't believe it!! So i stole them..looks lyk v has more time 2 upload her she aint gt new photos..she hasn't been logging in l8ly..wel anywayz..

    new photos:

  • american adventure 
  • alor setar 08 
  • around town 
  • cameron highlands 
  • indoor summer activities 
  • jubilee park 
  • najah's b'day party 
  • camping kt Norfolk 
  • queen's park 
  • raya 07 
  • umi's garden

    and finally..

  • ma siblings

    bt as i scrolled down, i realized she has an extra album~!!

  • 19 buckingham drive

    yes..our last home b4 heading bac 2 m'sia..categoried under around LB..

    moving on..2day's day ws hibiscus garden at Taman Tasik Perdana..then 2 Mydin myself sum sewing equipment 4 smocked dresses..n 4 tha 1st tym in a long while, i wsn't alwyz tip-tapping on my phone!! Haha!!

    newayz..gettin l8, heading 2 bed now~~
  • Tuesday, June 09, 2009


    wel..i ws texting wit 1 of me besties jus nt long ago..n we kinda fell into a fite..humm2..its 1 of my guy besties so i guess things gt too tite..i needed tha space..n need tym wit tha gurlzz..i hvnt gtten 2 do a lot of tat l8ly..huhu.. I asked my dad bout hanging wit tha gurlz tis Sat..he turned it down flat rite on tha spot!! HUWWAAA!!! jus 1 gurls day out n nt kinda feeling realy least i text tha gurlz wenever i cn..

    newayz..enuf wit tat..i mentioned bout making a denim working on tha bag 1st..n spend a couple of hours in the mrnin 2 get sum of those hp cases done..then i cn start working on tha dress..wen its done, i'll definitely put a pic of it on tha site..n i also want 2 launch a business blog excited!! hehe..

    k..heading 4 bed nw..

    Monday, June 08, 2009

    almost a week, its getting worse..

    just gt bac frm Kuantan ystrdy evening...aint gt mny seeing my cousins again ws great...

    tha crazy dayz are bac...gossip3..hehehe...i told them bout the prson on tha post below..gosh they're younger n so elder cousin ws at U...she's cuming the next day...gve her a call on tha 1st nite in Ktn..she kept whining bout her dorm room being as hot as an oven..cuz they had 2 share a room with 5 ppl...n also talked bout eating instant noodles all week..reminds me of my bruv..he ate noodles wit his mates in a bucket tat they used 4 their laundry..n he said he cud stil taste tha laundry detergent..yuck2!! bleecchh!!..

    newayz...movin on..bout wats getting worse..nuttin big..jus a bruise i gt aftr a blood checkup..i didnt use 2 get bruises aftr blood checkups..xcept 4 wen i ws sent 2 hosp earlier tis yr cuz fainted in front of the shower..but jus tat more bruises aftr blood tis one's strange..n its getting worse n i think its okay...

    only one week of hols left..i plan 2 make a denim dress..i'll post a pic wen its done..

    goin nw..c ya!!!