Friday, June 19, 2009

so he asked, "what subjects have you got in school today??"

im still vry3 ill..getting worse..listening to 3 songs on tha playlist..the only 3 songs i want 2 hear rite nw..

a little bit longer - Nick Jonas, Breathe - Taylor Swift and Breathe slow - Alesha Dixon

so the entire week ive been so vry ill...n i knw it puts burden on other ppl..lyk..the skool..n my frens.. i go 2 skool..get ill..rest in the sick room..n the nex day i stil attend skool..the only reason 4 dat is..wel..cuz..apparently..2 my parents..my illness is fake..i duno hw else 2 put it..im so afraid tat ppl in skool is goin think im pretending too..it gets so tiring..i dun think any1 wana hear the story ovr n ovr..or..have 2 carry me 2 the sick room ovr n ovr..

So..tis mrnin..my mum had left the house early 2 work..usually if i tell my mum i'm ill..she has her doubts bt stil let me stay home at tyms..bt 2day since she's gone, i had 2 confront my dad wit it..i've done tis so mny tyms b4..n as always he wud think its fake..so tats exactly wat hppened..i tol him im ill.. n he asked.."what subjects have you got in school today??" tat 1 question shows clearly tat he thinks im trying 2 avoid certain subjects in skool...i ws pretty upset..so i jus went 2 my room, locked the doors..b4 i cud stop myself, i cried..i screamed quietly..(bet u wondering hw i do tat)..n then i told myself..~aite gurl, u goin 2 skool 2day~

I brought a lot of tissues wit me 2 skool bcuz i sorta knew tat i ws gonna need them..boy, ws i right about that~ I ws climbing the skool stairs n wen i reached the top..i lent against a wall..tryin 2 catch my breath..in assembly..i sat at the back..i didnt stand..i let out a few tears..of cuz avoiding ppl..a friend of mine who has the sme illness also sat wit me during assembly..we both went 2 the sick room 2gether after tat..she barely goes 2 skool..bt wen she does, im super happy 2 c her.. ..i told her i cudnt stay home 2day bt i resisted on telling y..she told me she cudnt neither..every1 sees her as this really happy person tho she's ill.. bt i saw it differently..cuz she goes thru tha sme pain as me..

I wanted 2 tell her bout my parents jus 2 know if she's goin thru wat i go thru wit my prents..bcuz i ws already goin crazy..so i told her anyway..bout wat my dad said 2 me tis mrnin..n believe it or nt..she cudnt stay home 2day 4 the sme reason - her dad..her prents thot she faked as wel..all those days she dint attend skool..her mum jus cudnt care less anymore bcuz she ws so cnvinced that she's fake..OMG~ she went thru the sme thing..only her lil sisters believe her so wel..bcuz they c wat goes on in skool...i nvr thot that she wud understand..bt she did..she understood evryting..she used 2 cry as much as i did bout it...bt she got so used 2 it..she jus cudnt cry nemore..

I ws so hpy tat she gets it.. I tell her a lil more bout stuff tats hppening aroun the house..n her family went thru the sme thing..

I jus thought, finally, i cn talk 2 sum1..she thought the sme thing..n i cudnt feel happier tho i cried..she ws right there telling me the sme stories tat hppen in her family..it realy lifted a huge weight off me..

so anyway..posting a song on here..tis is a song written n sang by nick jonas..a little bit longer..he wrote tis song wen he gt the news about being diagnosed wit diabetes.. so i guess tats y i wana hear it..bcuz im so vry ill.. n tis song is about him being ill..




Lyrics | Jonas Brothers Lyrics | A Little Bit Longer Lyrics

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