Thursday, July 02, 2009

as alwayzz..

Listening to taylor swift's fearless album again..as always..when im online late nite, im doing homework or some kind of task due in the next day..

Its been almost 2 weeks pretending 2 be strong when im about to collapse anytime now.. My breath is getting shorter..and my head has its constant headaches..and the scar from the operation is still killing me.. but since that crazy day where I fell apart at home and screamed as load as i could..I told myself no more sick room..so 2 weeks not in the sick room at all..trying to be as strong as I was 2 years ago.. but everytime i climb those stairs, once i get to the top, my breath is gone..and everytime i sprint for a spilt second, my breath is gone.. a couple of minutes under the hot sun, i could faint..but luckily i did'nt..because catching attention was not what I wanted..

But people think I havent got enough support..they say i cant be simple n single..i have to get a boyfriend, well tough luck for y'all.. I aint getting one any time soon..I'm happy with the support I currently have from close friends, friends who people think Im not close to..but i am.. No official somebody for a long..long..long..long while.. Besides, if i get extremely ill..i would'nt want to be disappointing or worrying anyone other than family and friends.. So to all those peeps saying, 

"U need sum1 la..I cant support u all the tym" - well dun wurry..i have plenty of support..hehe, im doin fine..

n for people who said,

"u need to be with him..he can support u..even if he's nt well..at least u can support him too" - well..im fine as "teman tapi mesra" with him..

..which ever him y'all talking about anyway.. the scary, violent one or the one at U or the one thousands of miles away or the one who likes a different girl every week or the one who is superbly dillusional (lyk me sumtyms..hehe)..or the one who faints everytime he is stressed out or the one who does things even when told not to..or the one i havent seen since holiday last year..or even the one who annoys me at home all the time..hehe

I'm doing fine..I have a lot of support and im happy with it..but i love y'all for being the caring friends and family and cousins that you are..

Thank you..

sincerely, aYan~ (p/s not aYan on the billboard off the highway, if you know what im talking bout..hehe)

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