Monday, September 29, 2014

Diary rant on things I miss

Salam.. I'm still alive, alhamdulillah.

A lot has happened in the past 7 months.

Haley went missing and never came home. Everyone was really sad about it. Haley was such a loyal cat. He would stand outside the gate every time Umi comes home from work. He would step in the door every morning when Abi goes out for Subuh prayer, then come upstairs to disturb people who are praying at home. Roll around on the prayer mat. When he got bored, he'd climb on us while we were praying and start slapping our mouths because its the only thing he can see that is moving when we're sitting down. Every time I come home, I'd call out his name, and he'd come running. I miss Haley.

This is my corner, which has not been filled with my things yet.

Kakak moved back home full time, so she could continue with her PhD at home and help around the house. That would mean that me, kakak and Najah wold have to share one bedroom. So kakak paid for a really awesome room renovation. We put in an open closet, folding shelves, corner tables, folding tables, and a bed-top table. Its super awesome. The room looks so much better and has more floor space with all that standing furniture gone. I don't miss the old room.

Ever since Kakak moved home, Anas has been begging for cats. Although he's made it clear that no cat could replace Haley, he wanted new cats to take care of. So me and Kakak went to the market and and brought home three kittens. Kakak paid for all of their expenses, cage, milk, food, toys, medication, just everything. They've become her babies. Guess now I'm back in campus, I miss them too.

Its been exactly 20 days since the new semester began and the new semester is awesome. Let me tell you why, cause I got my change of programme, effective this semester. I am now officially an ICT student. I think I'm doing a lot better in my studies. My aunty, mak njang, when I saw her over the holidays, she even told me I look lighter, and she actually said, maybe its because I changed my programme. And she's probably right. Everything is quite a breeze at ICT so far, except for the Computer Organization subject which I just need to work harder at. The only other thing that's not so smooth sailing is transferring my Calculus credits. I'm hoping those could settle before the mid-sem break. In terms of studying, I feel so much more comfortable, even when I don't understand something, I feel more interested to learn than I ever did in Engineering. I don't wanna jinx any of this, so I'm hoping this interested feeling will last for a long long looong time. I don't miss Engineering. I miss some of my friends there, who I run into a couple of times around campus and have awkward 2 minute conversations with, but other than that, I'm okay in ICT.

I haven't been sewing in months, due to all the work that was to be done at home, and when I finally sat and started sewing, my machine disfunctioned.

This sucks.

I wanna sew again. I miss sewing so so so much. My kakak brought home a bunch of really pretty fabric from Korea for me to sew with but I can't. Because I'm already a quarter way into a new semester, and my machine isn't even working properly.

I want a new sewing machine. One that could take on fairly thick layers. Maybe one with lots of different stitchings. Maybe it could have an overlock stitching too. That would be awesome.

I guess I've always taken my sewing machine for granted, I've been wanting to sew all holiday long, and my holiday was 3 whole months long, yet I didn't sew much, because there was a lot to be done at home that it took away my mood for sewing. I just always assumed my machine would just be there when I'm in the mood for sewing. But now its not working and I'm sad. When I get my machine fixed, or maybe a new machine all together, I wanna just sew all the time, every time I come home on the weekends, I wanna finish at least one project. I miss sewing.

The thing I miss most in the past 7 months, beau. Earlier this year, last semester's mid-sem break to be more specific, March 25th to be even more specific, beau ended things with me. It hurt so bad. Especially because there was no one to pin the blame on. But of course, it never really ended, beau kept coming back, we kept trying to fix things, a few childish fights later, in the course of 6 months, we're okay again. So now I'm just waiting for beau to make a fresh admission to a new kulliyyah and soon we'll be in the same campus again. But waiting for soon feels like forever.

....hence, end the short list of things I miss. Of course I haven't forgotten scrapbooking and debating and baking and blogging and everything else I haven't ranted about. But I still scrapbook once in a while and I still bake for occasions, I'm blogging today, plus, since I'm doing better in my studies, maybe I could start debating again, or if its too late, maybe I'll just join something new. So I'm wrapping this up.

Here's to waiting for soon.



1 comment:

capital A said...

and i heard 'someone' mistakenly called someone she bumped in to as sooofiaaaa. heheh. very thoughtful of you ayan. :'D